Comedy Writing
McSweeney's
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Trump's Tariffs: An Explainer
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The Biggest Problem Threatening Our Country Is An App That Brings People Together
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Rules For Our Cranberry Bog
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Rape Allegations Really Do Ruin Mens Lives Because Now A Rapist Is Stuck Running This Country
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If My Mom Wrote The Ads For Her Local Npr Station
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Character In A Dystopian Ya Novel Or Homeopathic Remedy My Mom Gave Me That Didnt Fucking Work
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Hall Oates Songs Rewritten For Being A Woman In New York City In Your Twenties
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Alternatives To Girl Math
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Our RV Has a Kitchen, Bedroom, Bathroom, and Plenty of Space for Our Seven Children
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Reasons Your Dog Is a Better Health Care Provider Than Your Doctor
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Famous Male Rock Bands' and Artists' Names If They Went to Therapy
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I'm Not Like Other Fascists
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Welcome To Our Cul De Sac
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Babies Need To Pull Themselves Up By Their Tiny Bootstraps
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Apply For This Apartment In Thirty one Easy Steps
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We're Protecting Children By Criminalizing Parents Who Try To Keep Them Happy And Healthy
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Odyssey Cruise Lines Now Offering Competitive Rate Of $21 An Hour For A Ten year Adventure
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Other Quotes Gop Congressmen Wrongly Attributed To Philosophers
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You Can't Accuse Us of Restricting the Voting Rights of Black Americans If We Aren't Counting Then as Americans
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Low Skilled, Easily Replaceable Employees Must Return to Work Immediately, Otherwise Our Society Will Collapse
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Advertising Clients: What They Say vs. What They Mean
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We Cannot Refer to These Victims of Murder as Victims of Their Own Murder
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It Would Be Un American To Support Legislation That Doesn't Directly Benefit Me
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As Republicans, We Believe The Right To Life Extends From Conception Until Birth
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The Geometric Hall Of Shame
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Summer In New York In An Increasingly Hot Climate Is Not A Good Enough Reason To Bare Your Shoulders In Public
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Our System Here At The Ministry Of Magic Is Alive And Well
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I Did Nothing But Smoke Weed for Six Months, and Now I'm an Olympic Athlete
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Getting Rid Of The Filibuster Will Put The Senate In The Terrible Position Of Having To Pass Legislation
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Just Because I'm A Democrat Doesn't Mean I Believe In Something Crazy Like Guaranteeing Everyone The Right To Vote
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Firing Me For Calling The Police On A Black Man Minding His Business Is Racial Discrimination
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Baba Yaga Announces That She Is Distancing Herself From Tucker Carlson
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Lil Nas X's Music Video “Montero” Offended Me So Deeply I've Spent The Last Three Days Watching It Over And Over Again
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How To Succeed At Apologizing For Sexual Harassment Without Really Trying
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As A Staunch Defender Of American Liberty, I Refuse To Let Trans People Infringe On My Rights As A White, Straight, Cisgender Congresswoman From Georgia
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I Am Dr. Frankenstein, And I Condemn The Actions Of The Monster I Created And Did Nothing To Stop
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Please, Sir, I Want 11,780 More Votes
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You Can't Call Yourself A Woman Until A Man Has Written A Wall Street Journal Op ed On Why You Don't Deserve The Title You've Earned
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Even Though We Have Done Nothing Wrong, I, Vito Corleone, Am Pardoning My Entire Family
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Let Me Teach You How To Teach Other People How To Teach Other People How To Freelance
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33 Everyday Tasks That Are Easier With A Penis
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A Dead Man In Michigan Voted Four Million Times, And We Will Have Proof Of That Sometime In The Next Few Weeks Or Months Or So
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The Revolution Will Not Be Televised; It Will Be Broken Down Into Ten Minute Increments and Streamed On Quibi
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I Am A Pair Of Eddie Bauer Cargo Shorts, And I Have A Tasteful Number Of Pockets
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I Turned My Passion Into My Dream Job and Now I Sell Small Hats to Iguanas on Instagram
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Sally Sells Seashells by the Seashore Because the Government is Shut Down and She Isn't Getting A Paycheck